The Cadre

By Michael J. Lincoln aka DR Narayan Singh
© 2000

 We are at the present time at a critical point in the evolution of the whole human race.  The common word for it is "Armageddon".  However, unlike the usual associations with the term, it is not the beginning of the End, it is the end of the beginning.  We have been learning the ropes of coping on the space-time plane for all these years, and we have finally gotten to the point where we have to leave that learning behind and start co-creating with God.  However, it is very hard to trust the universe when fear has been the only sane reaction to the processes involved in learning the lessons of the past.  So we need both "bayonets in the belly" that tell us not to do those things that were required to survive in the world of the past and "guiding lights in the darkness" to show us how to do it right.

 To do the latter, there is a 65,000,000 strong group of people -- the "advance people" or "transition team" -- on the scene at the present time.  These individuals have been here many, many times before, and they are very old souls.  They are kind of like "senior ditch day" high school students waiting for graduation.  Meanwhile, the rest of the populace is still in school for the long haul, with average being in the fifth grade.

 At the same time, however, they have chosen to come into environments where they were treated as if they were weird versions of the normative soul age at this time, namely two octaves lower than they are, in the young soul range.  The result was a gross misfit between the soul age of the person and what they experienced.

 The result is a feeling of "Did I land on the wrong planet?", because of this misfit and because of the lack of relevant resources, experiences and relationships for the most part.  They have a strong sense of being alone and alien, strangers in a strange land.  Yet at the same time, there is a pronounced sense of purposefulness and significance, as if they have some sort of major destiny somehow.

 The experience is of being surrounded by people who are not at their level of development, a "ship of fools".  At the same time, the people around them react to their differentness, no matter how hard they try to suppress it, package it, hide it or use it.

 Some people react with fear, anger and hatred, accompanied by expulsion or extermination attempts.  Others react like a "feeding frenzy of piranhas" -- you are something they want and they get heavily into manipulative, exploitative, and extortionistic functioning with you.

 The result is that these people frequently can't put out who they are, what they perceive, what they foresee, and what they are capable of.  There is no way to effectively determine what people will do with what they say, do, sense, know and are, so discretion becomes the better part of disclosure for them.  They become very guarded in a subtle sort of way.  They also have to project some sort of reassuring mainstream quality or innocuousness.

 Out of all this develop a number of specialized qualities.  These qualities can be subsumed under two general headings.  One is their world-wisdom, which arises out of their having had to be immersed in the middle of the young soul fray with the awareness of the old soul.  The other is that they are very much in touch with their soul's resources. Both of these are to be used to provide critically needed resources at this pivotal time in human history and to also provide relevant "working models" for others to utilize in becoming able to operate in new, higher consciousness ways.

 Most of these people have had to work through the process of believing that there was something wrong with them and then coming to the realization that 50,000,000 Frenchman CAN be wrong -- about who they are.  Even those few among them who have somehow found a way of succeeding in the world as it has been constituted have found that it is now necessary to become fully who they are.  They have to clear out the side effects of being the right people with the right stuff in the wrong place.

 The result is that they are going through a "healing crisis" at the present time.  They are being forced to eliminate a whole set of self-protective processes and "getting through the night" strategies and tactics.  Expectations, assumptions and lifestyles based on past experiences simply have to go, period.  The result is a lot of trauma drama in their lives right now.

 This is compounding the already pre-standing lack of correspondence between who they are, what they are doing and contributing, and what they are experiencing and receiving. There is a great inequity in the exchange of energy in their lives in which they put out much more than they get, and in which they have to put up with much that they in no way deserve.  Even when the ARE recognized for their value, the resulting resources and rewards are often experienced as "gold, frankincense and myrrh" -- the best of a more primitive culture.  What, after all, does one do with a chunk of metal, a bit of bush and some body oil?

 Their present circumstances can often be characterized in general as disenfranchised, impoverished, immobilized and distressed.  The net effect of their situation is to put them in a state of being dedicated and determined, yet directionless, desperate and demoralized.

 To further complicate the situation, there have been for most of them almost no "real" relationships in their lives. A "real" relationship in this context is one in which both parties l) truly understand where one is coming from, 2) deeply appreciate that, 3) utilize that for themselves, the other person and the world in a positive, contributory and enriching/enhancing manner, and 4) expand themselves and their partner in the process of doing that.

 One of the more interesting aspects of the present situation in this light is that there is a large-scale process of finding each other going on right now.  Part of this is assortative mating as they find their true spouse, as opposed to the "teaching relationships" they have had in the past.  The rest of it consists of their finding their "cadres".  These are lifelong bosom buddies who are their people resources in their destiny manifestation.  There are two general types of "cadre figures".  One is the "task force cadre".  These are people with whom they will co-create in a resource-generation process.  The other is the "intimacy cadre".  These are a "spiritual family" who provide the love and support they need.

 Cadre figures show up "by coincidence" to serve as their support circle just when they need them.  They provide necessary resources along with solace, friendship, reassurance and love.  Their purpose is to allow each other to fully manifest their sacred nature and purposes.  They teach each other how to integrate the sacred realm into the pragmatic world through their relating to each other.

 Cadre figures are infused with the sacred, and they activate all sorts of challenges and capabilities to expand and manage the sacred realm.  Their larger purpose is to lead to de-attachment to one's defenses, resources and beliefs. They are here to move each other closer to God, and they are pole-vaults into de-egoing, in the sense of being enslaved to their egos.  They teach each other to see God in everybody, including themselves.  This, in turn, leads to self-love and a release from the strangle hold of dependency on externals. They become your sacred companions, your "siblings of destiny".

 Because of their inherent match to who one is at both the essence level and because of many past life connections in every kind of significant relationship, there is an instant total trust reaction from deep in one's being.  They are almost purely sacred in their role and function in one's life, and so they feel more trustworthy than any other relationship.  They are sacredly inspired and uplifting and one knows in one's heart that it's perfect.

 There is in effect no need for mutual exploration and testing.  There is no need to prove anything or to become anybody.  There is no need to protect oneself or to probe motivations.  There is a profound sense of recognition and security upon contact.

 For these reasons, many cadre relationships connect instantly and plunge in deeply, almost like "falling in love".  However, this is NOT a romantic relationship.  The depth of involvement comes from the complete opening of the heart that happens.  There just immediately manifests a profound connection and commitment.

 On the other hand, for many "advance people", the effect of not ever having had any real relationships is the activation of all sorts of confusion, distrust, doubt and miscalling of the nature of the relationship when a cadre figure comes along.  There has been so much disappointment, damage and despair at the hands of other people that there is a deep wondering about what this really is.

 This is considerably complicated by the feelings they elicit that are quite spouse-like.  It is especially disorienting when one has such powerful reactions to "inappropriate people" such as some one of the same gender, a person from a different culture or somebody who is far from one's own age.

 The important thing in such situations is to hang out with it rather than to fall into the impulse to dismiss the relationship or to run and hide.  One thing that helps is to realize that these are one form or another of lifelong bosom buddy relationship.  One can then concentrate on sorting out whether it is a task force cadre (who tend to be complementary to one's qualities), an intimacy cadre (who is very similar in essence), or a spouse figure (with whom the erotic reaction tends to grow over time rather than being an immediate hit).

 There are probably about 50 to 60 cadre figures for each "advance person" -- "transition team" type.  In any given city for any particular person there are probably only five or six individuals of both genders, all ages, and in all kinds of positions in society.  Which is about all anyone can handle because of the intensity and significance of the relationship and its effects.  If one spends three or four hours with three of them, one runs into "relevance overload" in which you feel, "This is wonderful but I have to go home and process before I burst!".  One's head feels like it's going to explode with input and one's body can't take any more good feelings in one sitting.

 The reality of the cadre relationship is that there develop all kinds of relationships with the relationship at the same time.  Some parent-child, some mentor-mentee, some sibling, some counselor, some spouse, some grandparental, etc., all of which switch back and forth like a kaleidoscope. It also tends to elicit a lot of transference projections from one's past formative relationships that can become quite explosive.  There is in addition for some individuals a transference of the patterns of expectations of relation- ships, and they wonder if it's for real, is it going to hurt them, is it going to go away, is it going to suddenly turn on them, etc.

 This can produce a lot of confusion about the relation- ship, particularly as a function of the "cross-generational" aspects.  In the past, such relationships as mentors (who are aunt/uncle type figures) have elicited strong transference reactions that lead to bad endings.  Friendships and spousal relationships work on an equality of power and resources basis in which each brings complementary content and capabilities which even out in terms of influence and contribution in the relationship.  The introduction of "parental" (such as boss-employee), aunt/uncle (such as counselor or teacher), and "grandparental" (such as "tribal elder") components into such peer-peer relationships is very disorienting and threatening for many people.  However, it should be noted that because of the sacred nature of the relationship, these things all settle out because it IS an equality of power and resources "siblings of destiny" type of relationship where there is a "leapfrog effect" on the "cross-generational" type stuff in which each becomes the other role alternately in a balancing out process.  This diffuses the potential dangers involved and ultimately deeply enriches the relationship.

 The other major confusion  inducer in cadre relationships is the erotic energy elicited.  This is a function of the opening of the heart to each other, which results in a tremendous flow of love energy between the people.  This, in turn, activates the sexual or erotic component of love as a spin-off or tag-along reaction.  This can be particularly explosive when age or social position differences and/or "cross-generational" phenomena occur within the relationship. This has the effect of generating intense incestuous reactions and characterization experiences.  And even when that is not a problem, the erotic component can be very con- fusing when one is already relevantly spoused or when one is searching for one's true spouse figure and a cadre shows up in your life.

 The fact of the matter is that the spouse is a very different figure from the cadre.  For one thing, this is the only relationship in which sexuality is not only permissible and effective, it is imperative.  However, there are a number of other ways in which the spouse is different from the cadre.  Perhaps the most central is that the spouse's primary function is to provide continuous growth challenges.  They are exhilarating, threatening and growth-inducing.  They work on one's cutting edge and on one's deepest wounds.  They could be characterized as the "ultimate teacher" as well as the prime support figure.

 Spousal relationships are based on stimulating differences, not on essence similarity.  The spousal relationship is a profound teacher as well as the primary bonding and support relationship, and vivre la difference is the rule of the game.  Spouses are sexuality and soul-expansion, security and support, self-development and shared destiny.  There is dynamic tension between the spouses that brings out one's best over time.  There are things that one can simply not say with the spouse at certain points in process because of their challenging teacher role.  Also, the stakes are very high, the processes unique to it, and the meaning of events very different from all other relationships.

 Indeed, forming a spousal relationship with a cadre figure is rather counter productive in most cases.  There is too much overlap of weaknesses, insufficient expansion- stimulation, too much self-rejection projection and shortcoming-reinforcement.  You tend to end up like those little old couples who look just like each other and are walking cadavers.

 As for the sexual energy in cadre relationships, in most cases it needs to be transmuted rather than acted on. Sexual connection creates intense bonding and aura-overlap, and in a cadre that generates an inappropriate attachment. If the erotic energy is transmuted into creative manifestation, the best possible outcomes occur. Of course, there are always exceptions to any rule, and there probably are here also. For instance, it might be that sexual self-rejection might be healed through a brief erotic encounter with a cadre figure because of the intensely unconditional acceptance and utter sense of safety that occurs in cadre relationships. But such situations are to be very carefully evaluated on a case by case basis, with the general recommendation to transmute rather than to transmit one's erotic feelings in cadre relationships.

 In the light of all these sources of confusion, it perhaps not surprising that for many "advance people", the encountering of a cadre figure can generate a simultaneous enormous attraction, deep concern and pained cautiousness. For such individuals, there is a lot of toe-testing and trial-ballooning.  Or conversely, there is an intense plunge- in, only to then have intense second thoughts.  The fact is though that these are profoundly supportive sibling relationships by nature.

 There typically is a period of untangling the skeins of what happened to the individuals involved as they were growing up during the early stages of the relationship.  It also crops (craps?) up periodically all the way along because of the undoing of past damage effect the truly trustworthy nature of the relationship generates.  There is also the reaction of the world to the relationship, which is even more thrown off balance by it than the participants are.  However, this is handlable with a reasonable amount of ease over time.

 As the learning and adjustment process settles down, there is a permanent "warm, fuzzy slippers" feeling that develops about each other and the relationship.  There is a sense that no matter what they do, they can always turn to each other and ask things like, "Do you have the feeling that this and this is going on?", or "What do you make of this?" or "Are you experiencing X?" or "What do you think would be a good idea here?" or "What the hell is going on here?" or "What do you think about doing this?", or "Do you get that I'm blowing it here and if so, how?", all with the expectation of a straight, relevant, and loving answer.  It is a sacred family composed of siblings of destiny.  The formative process is confusing, frightening, exhilarating and exciting, all at once.  And the outcome is a super-safe space to be yourself.

 These cadre figures are here to serve as the support circle for the guide/resource/teacher/healer/leader types who have been around the pike numerous times and who have been through it all this time around so they can serve as the key element in the collective consciousness transformation process.  They need each other profoundly in this huge undertaking of high stakes and high stress.

 A cadre figure (particularly the "intimacy cadre") is very similar in essence qualities -- "kindred spirits" with a given advance person.  Over the travels of one's essence development, there have been differences of experience, which make for each cadre figure with similar essence qualities arriving at different places, having started from roughly the same starting point.  The combination of near identity of essence and delightful differences of experience makes the cadre figure remarkably free of "projection hooks" on which to hang one's transference reactions.

 On top of which, there has been a lot of contact in the developmental histories of the two essences.  They chose different routes, manifestations and destinies, but they have also had much intimate contact over the life history of the essences.  They know each other intimately from every angle because they've been through it all together in all kinds of relationships.  S there is a foundation for enormous shared understanding, experiences, beingness and orientation.  It's like a super charged and super-enlarged version of the sibling thing where you can recall things from the perspective of a shared childhood and set of parents.  It has the net effect of generating complete confidence in the universe at some level, often for the first time in one's life.  In effect, it is a spiritually based relationship that opens all the energy centers or chakras at once for mutual connection on all levels.

 Cadres are siblings of destiny, sacred friends and the first true family the advance people have ever had.  There is an unspoken sharingness and a silent beingness with them. They are loving intimates with whom one can totally be oneself, no holds barred.  It is almost uncanny the way they are able to understand each other.  They are relationships that are remarkably free of "nemesis projections" -- the non- functional aspects of the parental/familial relationships and of self-rejecting, self-protective, and self-proving propensities arising from early developmental damage.  There is total acceptance, trust and trustability.  One can say anything with them and they listen like "E. F. Hutton" was speaking.  And one listens to them equally closely.

 There is a deep but non attached love, without the obsessional and emotional commotional upheaval characteristic of romantic involvements.  The cadre figure is experienced as a totally trustworthy confidante who gives completely safe love strokes.  There is a kind of quiet comfortableness and camaraderie with each other.  The cadre provides continuous validation and unity/teamwork mutual support.  There is no abandonment fear or threat and no rejection.  They are supportive and soothing, safe and self-worth increasing. They reflect the positive aspects of one's self and of the relationship.  There is emotional resonation, enrichment, safety, joy and playmate experiences.

 There is an instant open hearted connection, mutual vulnerability, "cards on the table" honesty, and complete communication with no secrets from the very start.  There are no holds barred, no aces in the hole, no hidden escape hatches. Instead, there is full commitment and entrustment with all one is.

 Even when there develop the inevitable conflicts of interests, misunderstandings, personal crossings, fights, etc., the result is growth, rather than withdrawal into oneself in self-protection or "offensive defensive" episodes. The cadre is so open, responsive, realistic, relevant, resourceful, and responsible in their reactions that there is no need for defensive behavior or self-serving selfishness. A problem-solving approach prevails, and much learning, healing and expansion occurs in response to difficult situations and interactions.

 The relationship is completely non-possessive because one simply knows that it is a lifelong connection.  There is unconditional positive regard with no blinders on.  The cadre doesn't grab onto or become obsessed with one's weaknesses. They have a neutral mind orientation toward them, so that one becomes comfortably aware of them rather than furtively furious with oneself for them.  This has the effect of activating a total commitment to self-healing through surrounding your limitations with love.  And this effect generalizes to one's reactions to all the people in one's life.  The relationship gives validation to all those things that other people reject, misperceive, exploit or abuse you with.

 One of the more interesting characteristics of all cadre relationships is what could be characterized as "parallel growth".  You may not see them for five years, yet it will seem like five minutes because all that has happened in the separate lives has resulted in changes and expansions that keep them abreast of each other.  As a result, there is continuous relevance, resource-development, and shared purposes.

 One other critical element in the cadre relationship story is the special subgroup of cadres called "cosmic partners".  These are cadres who enter one's life with a bang because they activate a tremendous sexual attraction and an obsessional impact.  The reason being that they were put in one's path by the Divine Hand because you were avoiding learning about or developing some central aspect of yourself. This "magnificent obsession" quality continues until the lesson is learned, and then the relationship devolves into the normal cadre characteristics.  For more information on this type of cadre figure, see the author's papers entitled, "Made In Heaven" and "Chapter Two".

 All contacts with cadre figures produces a mutually enhancing, enriching and evolving effect called the "cup runneth over".  Contact with each other is enormously nourishing and expanding.  So much so that when one comes away from them, everyone and everything one encounters is also enormously enriched.  What you have and what you have received overflows everywhere you go and into everything you do.

 It is for this reason that cadres do not compete with spouses or pose a threat to them.  Instead, they are people who are very relevant to the spouse because you are relevant to the spouse and the cadres are relevant to you.  The spouse does tend to have a bit of an overwhelm and "too much of a good thing" reaction to encounters with groups of their spouse's cadre -- "They're great one on one but they're a bunch of flakes (they're too uptight, they're too technical, they're too irresponsible, etc.) as a group."  On the other hand, the spouse is so enriched by one's contacts with the cadre that there is a natural eagerness for one to have such contacts.  And, of course, the spouse is having contacts with THEIR cadres too, with the same effects on you.  What it all comes down to is a "one big, happy family" type of thing, generally speaking.

 One thing that is universal to all cadre relationships is that the process of encountering each other is hugely healing.  All of the "advance people" have been in effect alone and alien in the world, do a "one man band", "lone stranger riding off into the sunset" type of thing.  They have been wondering where their people are or whether there are such things.  There is usually also a deep inner conviction or at least question as to why it is this way. The usual assumption (and often accusation by those around them who did not understand them) is that there is something wrong with them.  An alternate assumption is that perhaps everyone is crazy or the universe is run by a madman.

 Encountering your cadres is like the icing on the cake of one's healing process.  It clears up many self-rejection and universe-distrust issues, it provides desperately needed resources, it heals deep wounds, and it starts you on your destiny manifestation process.  It also earmarks the beginning of the end of the healing crisis and the early stages of the playout of your purpose in being here.  They represent the kind of relevance, resources and rewards that can be expected from then on as one reaches one's true calling and hits one's stride.  They are meaningful, trustworthy and FUN!

 Another effect of the cadre is that one is greatly accelerated in one's de-egoizing process.  In other words, the part of the ego that is the self-representation system begins to cease to define itself in terms of externals and to instead it gives way to essence quality manifestations.  The functional ego is, of course, only enhanced as this happens. The delusion of separation is gradually eroded away and a growing connection with one's Higher Self and the Home Office begins to occur.  You move more and more into the space where EVERYONE is experienced as a part of yourself and All That Is, and the effect is that everyone begins to feel like your cadre.  One becomes sacredly much more on purpose.

 Of course, none of this occurs in a vacuum, and as a result, the cadre relationships become seed crystals that rapidly develop into a very large lattice work.  The enormous resources that each individual brings to the relationship and the synergistic creativity and productivity that are brought to the unprecedented situations that are going to develop in the world as we "take it all into down time" and we redesign the whole thing are the aces in the hole of the human race at this critical time.

 This is happening in two distinctly different ways above and beyond the "cup runneth over" effect on each other.  The first of these is the "task force cadres", which are composed of complementary essences and essence developmental histories.  These individuals are going to be working together a lot in an "ad hocracy" temporary work group manner.  They will convene for the purpose of handling some situation, complete their work and regroup with other "task force cadre" types to take on another project, rejoin later for still another project, and so on.  There is a networking process going on among these "advance people" that will result in a resource pool that is very instrumental in bringing about big changes in how the world is run.

 Some will hang out together a lot, and others will "spurt and spindle" with each other, in terms of contact.  In either case, they will produce enormous contributions from both their individual capabilities and from the synergistic effect of group dynamics creating emergent phenomena. Remember who these "transition team" -- "advance people" are with regard to their personal resources.

 But above and beyond the critical resources and solutions that they will bring is their greatest contribution -- namely their showing the world how to truly effectively work together.  They will model such things as the division of labor, the dissemination of information, the handling of relational issues, effective time-utilization and flexible scheduling, how to meet the human needs of the work team and their significant others, the coordination of efforts, resource-management, communication processes, etc., etc., etc.  It is this "teaching them how to fish" component of their contribution that will be their greatest legacy.

 The other major way the cadres will contribute is in showing the world what REAL relationships look like -- they will show the world how to love effectively.  Almost none of us has ever seen effective loving and relating in our lifetimes, for the most part.  We are now coming to the close of a dysfunctional paranoid patriarchy in which it was all but impossible to form truly meaningful relationships.  We therefore don't know how to be real in relationships.  It's never been modeled or even allowed.  The "intimate cadre" models how truly loving relationships work and how to deal with the erotic aspect of love when it is not appropriate to bring full spousal sexuality into the relationship.  Their unconditional positive regard, total vulnerability and integrity and commitment, and loving enrichment of each other provide critically needed working examples of how to love effectively.

 Thus, in addition to serving as the guides and critical resources for the world and the support systems for each other in the process, the cadres also provide tremendous resources, synchronistic interventions, synergistic evolvement outcomes, and profoundly relevant and desperately needed modeling from their contacts with each other.  So the cadres are simultaneously healing each other, becoming resources for each other, teaching each other about the universe, showing each other how to truly relate, and above all else modeling for the world how to BE.

If you find any of this useful to your journey, please consider sending Michael a cash donation to say thank you for his contribution.

Michael J. Lincoln
PO BOX 176
Redmond, WA  98073